The Pain is Worth it

 August 2013

This year, I discovered that.  Jesus has been banging on the door of my heart this whole time, even when I was blatantly disobeying him.  No one has ever done that for me.  This year, I fell in love with Christ.  And suddenly I understood how much he has done for me.  And now, when people disappoint me, it hurts, but it doesn’t destroy me.  Because the God of everything beautiful will never leave me.  Since then, I’ve heard God talk so clearly.  Sometimes, he makes stuff clear through other people.  Most of the time, he shows me Bible verses that answer questions and unveil parts of his plan for me.  

 

Scary one he showed me recently Hechos 9:16  “Yo le mostrare cuanto tendra que padecer por mi nombre.” 

Acts 9:16 "I will show you how much you will suffer for my name."

In that moment, I felt God telling me that if I follow him with all my heart, people will hurt me. 

It’s not safe to follow Jesus.  I’m not exaggerating when I say you could die.  But there’s a passage I love in Acts 16

--Paul and his friend are beaten and thrown in jail

--But they’re sitting there singing praise to God

--God’s love for them feels so good that they just ignore the pain and the prison

So I can tell you, if you take this dangerous step, stop caring what others think, and worship God with all your heart, all the pain you receive for that will be worth it.  Because you will understand that the God of all Creation loves you and will never disappoint you.

Made to Go Deeper

10-21-13 Monday

Morning

Little children, let

Us not love in word or talk

But in deed and

In truth

1 John 3:18

Jesus, I’ve learned that the reason I sometimes get that hurt in my heart is I’m wanting to know you more but seeking something outside of you.  I’m made to go deeper in you, but I also need to be sure I’m abiding in you.  It’s okay for me to be living in peace.  If I rest in you (while living a life of active love) I will find myself seeing you clearer and knowing your ways better.  Help me find peace in you today. 

I kind of feel like I’m in a period of waiting for God’s will...but instead of being frustrated about that, I need to recognize that this is a powerful opportunity for my mind to be renewed, my heart to be opened, and my love for God to grow deeper.  Rest, peace, is not bad. 

Mean it

10-10-13           

Morning:

...I asked God specifically to show me what it is I’m doing (or not doing) that’s creating this *veil, and my passage in Ephesians (which I’ve been reading through) for today is titled “Walk in Love.”  That makes me think about what I learned from Nicaragua.  Am I truly loving others, or do I just appear to be? Am I truly present with people, or am I seeking my own gain?

I feel little hints of irritability, but don’t show it.  This isn’t how I want to be .  I don’t want to feel those hints at all.  Love isn’t irritable.  It doesn’t say, “love doesn’t act out of irritability,” but “love isn’t irritable.”  An irritable mindset stinks.  It blocks love and feeds pride.  I want to go back to love before I start running on pride again. 

I’m gonna rejoice today, and I’m gonna mean it. 

In the Little Things

8-7-13 Wed (Nica dia veinte)

Morning:

Love doesn’t always wait for an opportunity, often makes one.

Paul to the Corinthians--  “For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.” (1 Cor 2:2)

            --No lofty words, no complex theology, no condemnation, just the gospel

            --v. 5 “so that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.”

“For the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God.” – 1 Cor 2:10

            --And we have this spirit within us!

I feel like I’m learning a lot about how to love people, but more than that, I want to learn to love you.

I should be careful to keep my eyes open to the simple joys and beauties around me.  In the little things I can find great joy. 

Genesis 2—God formed man personally

I need not worry about “how intimate” or “how developed” my relationship with God is, I just need to know how much He loves me and worship him.

All I Want

8-3-13

The more I suffer and still hold to Christ, the more joy will abound in my heart.  The closer I will come and the better I will know Christ. 

“I will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name.”

Tonight, I got on my knees, looked up at the night sky, and asked God for faith that I would have to suffer for.  All I want is to have a more and more intimate relationship with him.  To truly feel never alone because I have him.  Faith begets joy.  Suffering begets faith. 

Pour

8-3-13  Saturday (Nica dia dieciseis)

Afternoon

--If I’m always trying to figure out if there’s more to life, I won’t find joy in what God has given me

If you pour yourself out for the hungry, and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in the darkness and your gloom be as the noonday.  And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.  Isaiah 58: 10-11

--I like the first part of this, pouring myself out will give me joy

--Jesus, refill me.  Satisfy me with your living water

Legit Alive

8-2-13

Friday (Nica dia quince)

Morning:

--I want to talk to Bernabe tonight on being disappointed and the only one who never disappoints

--Thank you that your word is legit alive, you speak through it in amazing ways

Paul and Silas praising in jail

--IMPORTANT: They were not praying for freedom or to be set free, they were simply praising God for who He is

--Most missionaries, when thrown in jail, would probably be confused with God

--Paul and Silas, however, have faith.  They have done God’s will, and have ended up in jail.  They can have confidence His Will will still be done, because they have been faithful and right in the middle of it up to that point.

--Because of this, they need not worry about anything, but can praise God and wait for whatever he has next

--Earlier in Acts—Peter and disciples tell the authorities no matter what they do, they can’t stop them from proclaiming what they’ve seen and heard

--Why would we hide our thankfulness for what Jesus has done for us from anyone?

Break My Heart

7-27-13

Morning:

BREAK MY HEART FOR

WHAT BREAKS

YOURS 

Acts 14:8-23

                        --Paul prays and a man is healed

                        --The people STONE him, yet he gets back up and goes to preach somewhere else

                        --And then he comes BACK to the city that stoned him and keeps preaching!

“I will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name.”

“To live is Christ and to die is gain.”

What’s incredible to me about this story is that the next city Paul went to could’ve stoned him too.  But life and death literally don’t seem to matter to him because he has Christ no matter what.  The only reason for him to be on earth is to preach the gospel.

            I WANT TO BE LIKE THIS!!!