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(re-post from Mark's journal)
1-3-2014
I've somehow recently forgotten how incredible your love is, how much you desire intimacy with me...
I asked God for a passage that would break through to me. I opened to Nehemiah 9.
--Despite the Israelites' many betrayals you were "a God ready to forgive, gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and did not forsake them."
I can give into sin and reject you, and you would still bless me and welcome me whenever I returned to you. But I'M NOT OKAY WITH THAT LIFE. I want everyday to be a day obsessed with you. I want to recognize every blessing and the powerful love behind it.
I want to really, really, love you. God, open my eyes. Let me see the reason behind the sunset that looks just amazing to me. Nothing I do is worth it if it wasn't done in love with you.
My son, my son my son
ReplyDeleteI walked where you walked and did not understand your path
I listened to all your music
I read all your poetry to understand your thought as a bit of my heart died each time.
There is no grief as the loss of an only son whom you birthed, nursed, loved as the only son.
My God let me see my son
Not yet not yet
I hope for again in this life
Ian will soften his heart.