I want a Christmas Miracle

When I was a little girl, I remember one special Christmas.  After the present-opening-frenzy was over, my parents asked, with a twinkle in their eyes, "What is that way under the tree?" And there was hidden in the very back corner, one last gift. And in that gift resided the one thing I thought I wasn't getting that year.  To describe the joy is impossible. A hope fulfilled was the best feeling.  

This Christmas, I was the first to wake up in my house. Before I even opened my eyes, my very first thought was, "Maybe he is in his bed." For a second it seemed possible that Mark might have been given back to me and was simply snuggled down warm in teenaged slumber.  Maybe it was all just a nightmare. But no. No Christmas miracle.  

Christmas 2013

I made my way downstairs, turned on the Christmas lights and music like I have done for 20+ years. It is my job as the mom to set the Christmas mood, but my spirit was sad. Sad like a child who realizes the gift she wanted was always very out of reach. There is no "last gift" hidden way under the tree. 

I grabbed my coffee, went to my quiet spot and watched the last of the sunrise.  I shared some tears with God and asked Him to show up for me today.

And I started wondering if Christmas is celebrated in Heaven.  I wondered especially what the mood in heaven was the moment the Word became flesh on that first Christmas morning. The moment the Beloved Son left everything Beautiful to come be with us.

I am sure there are huge books on the theology of this, so don't let my musings be taken with much weight. But in my imagination this morning, I wondered if maybe there was some loss or some longing that occurred when the Son left heaven. Surely, the heavenly forces knew this was God's will and that He would come out the victor. But to witness The Word submitting Himself to reside in a human body to live, love, grieve, suffer and die had to still break the hearts of heaven.  Even for a good purpose, we hate to see those we love suffer.

Were there any angel mutterings of "Why doesn't the Father do something like just flood them again?" What was it like telling the human world the "Good news" when they knew that our gain was only by Jesus' pending pain. Good news for us, but not for the heavenly hosts who I imagine desperately wished there was some other way to bring depraved humanity back to a Holy God. How did they submit themselves to this crazy plan of redemption? They could have turned in their resignation like Lucifer. But they didn't.  

They opened up the sky and declared "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth, peace among those with whom he is pleased!" Luke 2:14

And this verse is where I found my gift...the one hidden so far back behind the tree I could have missed it this year.  When faced with the suffering of one we love or our own suffering, we like the Angels, can choose to trust the character of God. We can decide that even when the story seems to make no sense, (Seriously, a baby in a barn is going to save us? Seriously, more cancer, God?  Seriously, more depression?) In the crazy, impossibly hopeless situations, God's promises will not fail. That is the Christmas miracle. What is impossible, is possible for God.  And while I really, really wanted my Christmas miracle, the one that has already happened, the Word becoming flesh, will ultimately fulfill my hope.  And I, and we, can choose to join the angels in praise, and the focus on His character will be what sustains us.