Love on a Mission

May 6, 2014 (continued)

I feel so unsure of how to act in social situations.  Not necessarily in an awkward way, and definitely not out of shyness or something like that; it’s more because I’m still learning how to be selfless and loving and in tune with you in public.  It’s pretty difficult, honestly, but I think that being intentional about this fast of stepping back and listening and getting “back to the basics” will help. 

I don’t want to do anything out of trying to be like someone else or trying to fit in.  What I want first and foremost is to establish this secret place, this Eden, and carry it around with me.  I want to love on a mission spawned out of intimacy with my Jesus. 

Coming after you, Lord :)  Thanks for loving me and showing me that you do. 

Beautiful Things

12-17-11

Lord,

Out of the chaos in this fallen world, You make beautiful things.  Out of sickness, out of pain, even out of death you make beautiful things.  Hope is springing up from darkness, Father.  Thank you for your redemption, thank you for rebirth, thank you for release from the bonds that once held.

                                                                        I love you.

                                                                                    Mark

Check

5-3-14

It’s a wonderful, wonderful thing to know that if God is first in my heart, then wherever I am in life at that moment is where he’s called me to be. 

Have you not known?

Have you not heard?

The Lord is the

Everlasting God

The Creator of the ends of

The earth.

He does not faint or grow

Weary;

His understanding

Is unsearchable.

Isaiah 40:28

Evening:

I think I may do what I did when I came back from Nica and talk a little less for a while.  Coupled with that, I want to check how centered my daily focus is on myself. The words I speak are how others define me.  I want them to come from pure and glorifying intentions.

By this I seek your peace, Father.

You keep in perfect peace him whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.  Isaiah 26:3

A Simple Prayer

1-31-12

Father,

Thank you for your Word.  Thank you that even though I may have heard a passage a million times, I can still get something new out of it.  I pray that as I read your Word, You would give me an open mind and heart so that I can apply the passages to my life.  May I learn something new every time I dive into your book. 

                                                                        Thank you,

                                                                                    Mark

Free of Myself

12-12-11

Lord,

Your love endures forever.  What my parents have for me, you have a hundred fold.  And you always will.  No matter how many times I sin, your love will not waver.  You have set my heart free, Father.  Even though I’ve committed adultery with the sinful nature for as long as I can remember, you died so I could be free of myself.  So I could be free of the curse of man.  There is no greater gift than the salvation you’ve given me, Lord.  Thank you. 

Lord, direct my footsteps according to your Word.  May your decrees be constantly in my mind, out-screaming the lies of the world.  I thirst for your truth, and your law is true.  Therefore, fill my mind with your law.  May your laws sustain me; let me live that I may praise you. 

                                                            Amen

Simple Things

2-6-2013

God, 

You are beautiful.  You can bring me contentment through the simplest things, such as a light breeze on a warm day.  I can literally feel you all around me, Lord.  You've created and done so much more for me than I know.  Thank you for loving me despite my failures.  

God, I'm starting to give into anxiety and worry again...

Lord, these worries are gnawing away at my joy, peace, and faith.  Assure me, Father, that you have everything under control.  I don't need to worry because that won't help anything.  What happens, happens.  Open my eyes to your omnipotence, Father. 

I love you, 

Mark

Wreck my School

Mark's hopes for his school

5-1-2014

“I want the love and fire of my father to wreck my school, for a holy fear to shake even the most indifferent person.  He dwells in these halls, and He has a plan.  I hope that plan is to mess people up with his love .”

10-8-2013

“I want people to truly see how good God is and what he’s doing, not just through music, but through relationships.  People need to know that there’s a powerful God who wants so bad to be in love with us.”

Where do you see beauty?

7-15-12

Dear God, 

You are incredible.  I see your beauty all around me, in people, in places, in things.  I can't believe some people believe that the intricate beauty of nature happened by accident.

It's so cool that I can know you personally.  You created the entire universe, yet you want a relationship with me.  That's just so incredible; please don't ever let me take that for granted.

Mark

Lifestyle, not Checklist: Apathy, Part 2

So how will tomorrow be different?  Maybe I just passionately wrote out my feelings and tomorrow will check back in to my utopia of blissful ignorance.  I sure pray that's not what happens.  I think a way that I could start to move in a new direction would be if I'm a bit more open to people who aren't necessarily my core group of friends.  If I'm more friendly, be it to acquaintances or strangers, maybe I can help them.  There are people all around me whose lives are warzones, and they are crying for help.  One thing's for sure, I can't let this be a checklist.  Yay, someone confided in me, I'm not apathetic.  Because it's not a checklist, it's a lifestyle.  Tomorrow, when I wake up, I pray that it would be with eyes of love, with a relational, amicable attitude.  Apathy can NOT own me.

Mark

Apathy, Part 1

7-3-12

Apathy.

It's one of the things I'm most afraid of, and one of the things I'm least understanding of.

My life is something others beg for, be they Ugandans or Nicaraguans or other Americans.  There aren't riots on my streets.  I am not being fiercely oppressed by my government.  I'm not bullied at school.  I'm not battered by a fierce social ladder in my grade.  

I always have enough food in my pantry...I've lived such a safe life it almost seems ridiculous to me sometimes.  It's extraordinary for someone to be this protected in such a dangerous world.  I sometimes feel like I live in a world of glass, a utopia...

There are so many people who would consider their life complete if they had just one of the things I mentioned above.  And that's where this whole apathy thing comes in.  My idea of an apathetic me is a Mark who just lives in his utopia, soaking up the blessings, intentionally oblivious to any sadness or hurt outside his world.  I'm not saying that enjoying blessings is wrong.  They're meant to bring joy.  It would be completely inconsiderate to reject blessings because there are people out there who lack them.  That helps nobody.  The reason I fear apathy is I fear I'll slip into a life of ignorance.  I'm terrified of never leaving my comfort zone, yet I'm terrified of leaving it as well.  There are opportunities to love, to help, to listen, to bless that I have passed up because of my utter selfishness.  Opportunities I could have seized.  

Deeper Water

6-17-13
Morning:

For you have delivered 

my soul from death, my

eyes from tears, 

My feet from stumbling;

I will walk before

the Lord in the land of 

the living.

Psalm 116:8-9

Prayer:

--for a renewed mind

--I want to know you more

Beach Walk

--I have two options right now

 --Walking on shore/shallow water or walking in deeper water

 --Shallow water-easy, not dangerous, can see my feet, clear way (miles of beach, houses)

--Deep water-I have to work to move, could be knocked down, can't see my footing, unclear way (changing of tides, surging waves)

 --On shallow water I've asked the deep water why it doesn't come up to me so I can experience it on solid ground.

 --But I can't have the safety of the shallow water and the satisfaction of the deep

--In the shallow (easy) I may have a clear vision (I can see what's ahead) but it's monotonous

--Deep water--exciting, refreshing, strengthening

--The deep already exists (God's love), but it has already come for me

--I HAVE TO LET GO OF THE EASY MONOTONOUS PATH TO EXPERIENCE THE EXCITING PURPOSEFUL PATH

Click here to hear one of Mark's favorite worship songs:

Oceans, by Hillsong United

Scream

 2-26-12

God, I pray that whatever it is you're calling me to do, you would scream until the walls of my stubborn mind collapses.  I will try to listen, but I often try to drown you out.  However, my ignorance is no match for your call, so show me what you want me to do.  Put me where you can work through me.

Thank you, 
Mark

We all Worship Something

We all Worship

SOMETHING

Father, become my life.  

Influence my every action, show me you are greater than any other god.

Fill me up with your love, send me into the day consumed by you.  

I'm NOTHING without you.

You are everything.

Pollution

5-10-12

Father, I have been so busy lately, I haven't been able to find much time in your word.  Thankfully, this mini-era of busy seems to be coming to an end.  I'm really happy about that, not just because I can be more chill, but also because I am able to have time to speak with you once more.  

You are amazing, God.  You are so beautiful, and you've created so many beautiful things.  I can't believe you love me even though I dishonor your sacrifice all the time.  I can't imagine what it would be like to be you, having to know that even though you gave it all for those you love, they reject that.  Help me to recognize the sin that pollutes my life, God, so that I may fight to do away with it.  I love you.  I confess I have sinned.

Mark

Perspective

1-18-12

Father, 

I've discovered something important: Life is a matter of perspective.  When I wake up, if I look at my day as though it's going to be boring or hard or something like that, then I'll probably have a bad day.  But if I look at it in a positive light, and focus on that as I live the day, I'll most likely have a good day.  This is much more important than it seems.  Perspective determines how you live, and in a way, who you are.  I remember around this time last year I was living with a negative perspective.  Then Carley told me she was going to start thinking more positively.  I guess I realized that that was a good idea, so I made that decision as well.  Now, I feel like I fully understand the importance of positive thinking.   Lord God, help me to see the beauty in all things.  Not just in things I like, but things I don't as well.  Be it something as small and trivial as food, or something deep and complex like people.  You can't love someone if you have a negative perspective.  

Thank you Father.
Mark

Pride

1-14-12
 I may not show my pride outwardly, but it's on the inside, sneakily eating me up.  Father, if I continue on this path of false self-righteousness, it will change me, and the change will not be for the better.  I can't let this continue.  Show me how to be humble, truly humble, God.  To put others above me; to not look at myself proudly and haughtily.  If I don't destroy this, it will destroy me.  Stand by me.  Give me strength to kill this hypocritical perspective.  This has got to be stopped.  I've never realized how big an issue it is, but you've revealed to me my fault.  Thank you.  

Mark 

I'm coming after You, God.

2-15-14

In moments of quiet, strangely enough, I often try to pressure myself into being joyful.  

I need to get things straight.  The joy of the Lord isn't what I'm supposed to seek. I'm supposed to seek Him.  Joy flows naturally from knowing the Lord, it's irresistible.   But it can't be found on its own. 

I'm coming after You, God.  I want to know you better.