How do You Solve a Problem Like Maria? Part 2b Foster...and then adopt, and foster some more

Mark Rodriguez had a huge heart for the orphaned and oppressed.  Since it is National Adoption Awareness Month, we will take a few posts to talk about the many ways one can help address the problem of children who are living without families. 

The Lehne Family

When I first met Bill and Kris Lehne, Carlos and I were newly married, and Mark was just a few months old.  I learned so much about parenting from Kris.  We were neighbors and great friends.  I regret that we moved before the Lehnes began their journey into being a foster family.  I am sure these last years have been filled with blood, sweat, tears and much prayer on behalf of the sweet children that have been in their home.  I asked Kris to answer a few questions about their journey and I hope it will be helpful for you if you are considering becoming a foster parent.  

LE: How did you know your family was supposed to foster a child?

Kris: God led us to foster when He revealed to us that there were babies being born in our county that did not have a home. In our county, there is still only one bed for every three children that come into foster care. Our group homes are overflowing with kids.

LE: What has surprised you in the process? 

Kris: What has surprised us the most is how many organizations exist to support foster children and foster families and yet so much of the public does not know about the need for foster homes. The other surprise is once educated, how few Christian families accept the calling to be the hands and feet of Jesus to these children. The reasons I hear for their choice are usually ones like, "I couldn't love them and let them go." I say, "Did God promise you your children would be with you forever? He didn't make that promise to me. I don't know how long any of my children will be in my life here on earth. Foster kids need a family, a place to belong, unconditional love and most of all to have Christian families to introduce them to our redeemer, Jesus Christ. Christian families need to love them for a season, no matter how long the season, just like we do our own kids."

LE: What have some of the challenges been? 

Kris: The challenges are dealing with the trauma behaviors of the children, working with a broken Government system and not getting enough respite from the ministry. We have been fostering more than seven years and have not had more than a few weeks break between placements. Every time one of my Bio kids turned 18 we took in another foster child or adopted.

LE: What would you tell people considering being foster parents? 

Kris: The reason you foster, and continue to foster, is because your family gets to participate in the redemptive power of Jesus Christ in the life of a child. As you begin to provide consistent food, clothing, shelter and unconditional love, these children feel real love for possibly the first time in their life. The transformation that occurs before your eyes is an absolute miracle. The one little three year old girl who was brought to us on our wedding anniversary, did not know how to sleep on a bed, eat at a table, take a bath or any other hygiene routine, talk, use the potty or wear clothes. She had not been taught any of these life skills. In less than two months, she had been redeemed from all these and more!! God opened to doors to adoption and she became a Lehne about a year and a half later.

In our family, fostering has been an incredible ministry for us to work in together. I know these children have made an impact on each one of us in a way no other ministry could. We share many fond memories of the children God has allowed us to love for a season. Foster children that we stay in touch with remember how fun our house is and going to church. 

Thank you, Lehnes, for being the Super Good in this world!

 

How Do you Solve a Problem Like Maria? Part 2: Foster a child!

Mark Rodriguez had a huge heart for the orphaned and oppressed.  Since it is National Adoption Awareness Month, we will take a few posts to talk about the many ways one can help address the problem of children who are living without families. 

Special thanks to my friend Sara Beth Roberts for sharing her experience with our God is Super Good community!

For as long as I can remember, I have always had a desire to do Foster Care. Although my husband and I have 4 children of our own, we both felt that God was calling us into this area of ministry. For many years, it was something that I planned to do in the future, and finally one day the future was staring me in the face.

If you really know me, this won’t surprise you, but the day I called the city of Virginia Beach for more information and the day we attended our first night of training was the same day. My husband, who certainly after all these years was not totally surprised, got a phone call that went something like this: “I called for some information and signed us up to start the training—tonight.”

My husband and I sat through weeks of classes—we listened intently to everything that was said by all the experts and especially the other resource parents. I prayed that God would unite our hearts and that His purpose would be revealed to us. I was excited and terrified at the same time.  Our first long term placement was a 7 year old boy--the same age as my second son. I remember standing, with the phone to my ear, staring at the empty bed in my son’s room—why would we NOT give him a home here? I picked him up in the next 30 minutes, and on the way home one single tear slipped down his cheek. He was always so very brave.  He was an only child, so I think our full house was overwhelming to him, however he never really said much at all. He ate all of my cooking, and I still think of him at dinner time. We took him to the beach for the very first time and we taught him to ride a bike.

When I first thought about Foster care I had big dreams—this child would be so thankful to me and would love our family. I selfishly thought that he would be grateful because we had “rescued” him, but I never thought about the fact that he loved HIS family—he did not want to be rescued. This was a hard pill for me to swallow—I wanted to be loved by him and some part of me wanted thanks (if I am being completely honest.) The burden of caring for a child who did not love me back became very heavy.

One night, I closed my eyes and begged God to help me—I did not even know what to say. Finally, I muttered: Help me love him as YOU do.  Help me lay my own selfishness aside—the part of me that wants everything to be so tidy and perfect.  It was a dying to self over and over again. What’s amazing is that my kids did this so well—seemingly without any problem. They shared and encouraged and loved big. They made room for him, accepting him in ways that I struggled with, loving him even if he did not love back.

In the months that he lived with us, we got to know both of his parents. My heart broke for them as they worked to get their son back. This was something that I never expected, but we were able to pray for his family. We were able to share Jesus with them, and hopefully they were able to see Christ’s love through us. Our entire family was able to see their family knit back together and made whole, and that was so rewarding and so unexpected. On the final court date, I could not even muster a word to say to the judge through my tears—I was overwhelmed with what the Lord had done. I was so thankful to have been even a small part of the story. After the hearing, his Mama hugged me so tight and said: “Thank you for loving him as your own—thank you for loving my baby when I wasn’t able too.”

When he got off the bus that day, I told him he was going home. “Today?” he said. “Yes.” He grabbed my neck and hugged me so tight, for the very first time. He looked me right in the eyes and said: “Is Jesus for me too?” “Yes.  A million times YES—of course he is for you too.”

How do You Solve a Problem Like Maria? Part 1b Adopt...or help someone adopt

Mark Rodriguez had a huge heart for the orphaned and oppressed.  Since it is National Adoption Awareness Month, we will take a few posts to talk about the many ways one can help address the problem of children who are living without families.  

Wayne was Mark's youth leader at Trinity Church, Virginia Beach.  He really impacted Mark's life when he taught him how to pray and journal at a retreat he called Camel Knees.  Wayne and Bethany agreed to share their adoption story...see if you can handle the cuteness of Ivey Jane  

Wayne and Bethany holding their daughter, Ivey Patterson
			Our adoption story is a very simple one: we believe the gospel of Jesus is best told through the tangible picture of adoption AND we had an open home and there are children who need one.

As we prayed over our call to adopt we sensed what so many other adoptive parents sense: a hero complex. We could see ourselves speaking at churches about our dangerous journey into the jungles of some country we weren't even allowed to name and rescued and poor helpless child from abject poverty and a bleak future. What heroes we would be! But a funny thing happened when we started praying more diligently about how and who God would have us adopt: He sweetly encouraged us that it would be ok for us to adopt a newborn so we could experience every stage of our first child’s post-womb life.

“But...God, that's not as sexy as the other story we were ready to tell…” We're not proud that our arrogance had limited our scope of God’s ability to tell good stories of redemption in any context. So, while we still looked forward to adopting internationally and to becoming adoptive foster parents, we took the dive into domestic infant adoption.

And oh what needs there are! We were shocked at how few women (usually young, scared, single women) knew that there was an alternative to abortion to be found in adoption (we would love for there to be a revolution of gospel-centered education on leaving behind a life of promiscuity but that's another battle for another day)! With a small army of supporters and dear friends who had run this race just before us, we found an agency that showed our profile to a young woman who found herself pregnant, single, out of work (and the insurance that went along with the job) and with a 8 month old baby that already required so much of her attention and the reality that she couldn't keep this little life that was growing inside her.

Ivey Jane Patterson

It was a long (2+ years from deciding we were going to adopt until we were selected by a birth mom), expensive (feel free to email for details), painful process that we wouldn't trade for the world. I encourage anyone who has even slightly considered adoption to prayerfully and humbly pursue the next steps - only 2% of people who strongly consider adoption ever go through with adopting so your ‘next step’ may still be research or prayer (seriously, you can't pray too much about this) or even getting your Home Study scheduled. Whatever it may be, take that next step. We're with you

Bethany, Wayne and Ivey Patterson

wayne.rivercross@gmail.com

How do you Solve a Problem Like Maria? Part 1 Adopt...or help someone Adopt!

Mark Rodriguez had a huge heart for the orphaned and oppressed.  Since it is National Adoption Awareness Month, we will take a few posts to talk about the many ways one can help address the problem of children who are living without families.  

Joyful Maria while living in El Canyon Oprhanage

One of the most obvious ways to solve the problem of children without families is to adopt.  It isn't for everybody, but there are some people who have always felt that urge and are wondering right now if they should go for it.

According to worldorphans.org in the last hour 240 children were orphaned and 1, 604 aged out of an institution with no family to go to and no home.

The statistics are staggering.  There is no way to really know how many children are at risk but worldwide it is in the millions. In 2012, there were 5,434,000 children in forced labor slavery (International Labor Organization).  Children without the protection of a loving family are at risk of unspeakable things.

So, if you are are one of those people called to adopt, do it.  Now. If you are wondering if you should or shouldn't I have a list of questions you can ask yourself that might be helpful. Request by emailing me at support@godissupergood.com

Maybe you know you are not called to adopt.  There is another way for you to dramatically impact the life of an orphaned or abandoned child.  Help someone adopt. I am going to bet you know someone who is trying to adopt right now.  If you don't you can certainly ask around and you will probably find out pretty quickly.  Then help them fund raise (coordinate a yard sale, concert, etc). Get your church involved in praying for them, and provide other practical support while they are in the process.  Adoption is expensive, exhausting and time consuming.  A family who is adopting really needs their community cheering them on while they wait and while they parent.

If you just add one more action step this month to help children without families, you have forever impacted the world.  Don't just read about it, or post about it.  Do something.  This is real religion.